why is it everytime when i just got used to not having him to talk to, he appears again.. then i'll be happy and sad at the same time.. which makes me angry.. also dunno angry at what.. just angry..

and it doesn't help that i got menstrual cramps.. owww.........I HATE PERIODS!!!!:( it ALWAYS MAKES ME GRUMPY..

today went sakae to eat with jikbu..then went borders.. saw this astrology book.. feel like buying..

but this sat energy cd come out.. then friday go with lina to buy the concert tix.. will be damn broke la...:(


NO ONE LEAVE TAG FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE HMPH!!

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I LOVE STEVE'S VOICE!

YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!i'd be even happier if SOMEONE at least send me a msg..:(

-----------------------------------------
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I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!NICKY! I LOVE YA!!!!

my aunt taught me how to make kimchi today~
yay! so fun! but now must wait very long b4 can eat:(
i love my auntie!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh i saw nicky's cd at hougang mall cd-rama.. but at that time no money to buy..so tomorrow i will go and buy asap(today cannot go out)haha i was screaming(not very loud la) in the shop..hahah

i want go energy concert!

my cousin went taiwan and go to the taiwan EMI company..then they gif her free cd.. so good.. i want work in a record company next time.. maybe universal or EMI...:) my cousin give me B.A.D cd and chen si han cd.. i like B.A.D!!!!!~~~DA JIE ROX!!

last night(this morning la!~) i woke up at 3+am..something was shining into my eyes..
then i was like "huh? it's morning?"so i sat up to find that it was darkness all around me.. the moon was soooooooooooooooo bright lor! so nice.. i could stare at it for the whole night lo! but then my aunt want to sleep(she comes to visit and stay for the week ends) so close the curtains coz too bright liaoz..:( I WANT TO LOOK AT THE MOON WITH *AHEM*

but *AHEM* is still MIA...haiz... not a single msg..(not tt i got send also la..haha)
BUT I DUN CARE LOR!!!!!I MISS *AHEM*!!!!!

i wanna pon cca tomorrow..

i miss youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*go watch shaman king and try to ignore my non-vibrating phone..
MIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIA<---not me.. is *ahem*
I HATE THIS!


your a true Linkin Park fan, your awesome. you must
have all their CD's or something because you
got them all right! go you! please rate and
take my other quizzes.


how well do you know Linkin Park songs?
brought to you by Quizilla




Distant. Shy. Insecure.
You've become so numb...


Which Linkin Park girl are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla



Congratulations, you're In The End!


What Linkin Park 'Hybrid Theory' video are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



u got mike u think marriage is a good thing but
kids can wait u luv art and love to learn about
as much as u can


Who will fall for you >Mike< }Brad{ ::Chester:: from Linkin Park?
brought to you by Quizilla



You LOVE Linkin Park!!! As a matter of fact,
you're almost as obsessed with them as I am!!
Almost!!! You're like my new best friend!!!


Are You a Hardcore LINKIN PARK freak???
brought to you by Quizilla



You are obsessed with Linkin Park! (Like me..)


Rating of how much you love Linkin Park
brought to you by Quizilla



Linkin Park Genius


You Think You know Linkin Park, but you have no idea.
brought to you by Quizilla



U R LP'S NUMBA 2 FAN, COS IM NUMBA 1?


LINKIN PARK (HOW BIG A FAN R U?)
brought to you by Quizilla



Yes!
You know Linkin Park like they where a
good friend of yours! You probably thought that
this was a very easy quiz when I tried to make
it hard.


Do You Know Linkin Park?
brought to you by Quizilla



oh well u r the top banana.... you love the album
nearly as much as i do!!! and u probably
realise how bootiful these guys r... esp
mike... hehe.. if u wanna add me to msn its
shinoda_luvr@hotmail.com


linkin park meteora lyrics
brought to you by Quizilla




in my misery, i went to do some quizzes..
not bad eh? i still remember my LP facts from two-three years ago
eh shane! do these quizzes! can ya beat me?

Niu-Nai, Ye Yi Hua
Ever so cheerful,a bundle of fun!
Just look at those cute buck teeth =B


Which 5566/energy member are u most compatible with?
brought to you by Quizilla




see that?!!!!!
i answered the questions really seriously..
and you know what? i didn't see the "energy" in the title of the quiz at first!
i just thought it was "which 5566 ,member are you most competible with?" then i was at first doing just for laughs(so tt ness will laugh) then later the result come out i almost fell off my chair~
ha!hahahahaha!!

= = i dunno what i trying to prove.. haha but i just feel very happy!!!

like i told u guys i love doing quizzes..
found this two really cool ones!
CROSS MY HEART I DIDN'T CHEAT!
both my first attempts!
cool ya?!~^^


You Are Energy!
There's nothing bad about you! Keep workin!


Which taiwanese boyband would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla





Alexander Wang Lee Hom
Nice, Humble


Which male (ABC)chinese singer are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla




HAHA SO PROUD~esp of the first one
imagine if a energy fan got k one or 5566 for their result.. i bet u they'll kao peh..hahaha
but they're mean to machi:(

i repeat!
i DO NOT want *ahem* to come here..

stupid nessa... just complaining tt no one bothers to tag.. = =

today i was coming home from school and smsing Orange at the same time.. then i suddenly look on the ground.. then i found out i almost stepped on a DEAD BIRD!
oh yuck!!!!!yuckyuckyuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like DRY..cooking in the sun... it's eyes... just hollows..
i almost vomitted...then i run away.. like.... really RUN.. the sight is gonna haunt me for this few days lor! imagine if i really STEPPED ON IT...
oh sicksicksicksick... i really wanna puke...
I TOLD YA! I DON'T LIKE ANIMALS!!!!!!!!!!!!I DON'T LIKE TO SEE DEAD ANIMALS!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE IMAGINING DEAD ANIMALS!!!!OH SICK!!!!THE CHICKEN WE EAT IS A DEAD ANIMAL!!!!AND SO IS THE BEEF AND MUTTON AND PORK...
it won't be long for me to become vegetarian le..
SICKSICKSICKSICK!!!!!!!!OH SICK!!!!!
*vomits*
i must be cursed with back luck! why must i see that bird!!!!!
i dun like to see animals die.. so in the end i prefer not to like animals at all...i'm wierd..

another pissing thing? i failed geog mid year......FUCK!i nv do so bad in geog b4..i'm so pissed..
i liked geog lor!!!!!!!fuck... life sucks!!!!!!!!

*ahem* is no where to be found...SHIT LAA!i am so angry at myself...WHY SHOULD I CARE!?!?!?! ya.. i shouldn't care at all..not let him affect me..

AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
LIFE SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!I WANT TO LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM AND SHUT OUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nessa is so scary..
YOU DUN GO MSG PPL HOR!!!!
haha ^^ went out with shir and ness today..dunno is it the weather or what.. somehow abit quiet..but wadeva~ still enjoyed myself..
WE HAF TO MEET UP AGAIN!this time we won't go to boring orchard ok?

really u'd nv believe i would say this..but i'm SICK of ORCHARD..SICKSICKSICK stupid place

oh and we saw steven lim.. my dad thinks he is mad.. really.. he was like "i think this guy has a mental problem"..hahah u know what steven lim was wearing?!!! a t shirt with a RED BOW TIE..
i mean... it's good ppl want to express themselves..but this guy is just plain i-want-to-attract-the-whole-world's-attention...if media corp ever gif him a contract, i will boycott it..damn it..

two days.. i HATE IT!IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT! SO SICK OF WAITING AROUND!!!!!!!I SHAN'T CARE ANYMORE (nessa:yeah right)

oh and i really can't stand my mom ! there won't be peace in the house if she's around.. i love it most when she's at work or jogging at the park.. say i am unfilial all u like.. but i am damn sick of her coming into my room and nagging me.. i......can't......breathe...= = and she LOOKS IN MY PHONE ANY CHANCE SHE GETS! so my phone dun ever leaves me..it's with me 24/7 unless i am 100% sure she can't get her hands on it..but she dun read the msg la.. just see the names... soon i will change all the names to code or sth..wahahahaha or name everyone as my idol's names or something..grrrrr.....

and no one leaves tags for me= no one comes here = no one cares about meeee
coz let's face it.. i'm such a boring...bore..
boring boring boring
my job is to bore everyone with my conplaints and etc..
only ness comes and she does so only coz she wants to irritate me about diminishing melons..
or else she wants to use my misery to write song= =
...not that i want EVERYONE to come la.. coz there are ppl who i DON'T WANT HERE!
i want to sleep.. bye~

call me fickle all u like!
my new love...........INUYASHA~!hahahahahaha!
AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHE IS SO CUTE!CUTER THEN NIUNAI!:P
wahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
i'm the crazy gal who fell in love with a cartoon character!!!!!!!!!

kk.. dun be siaoz le..
*whispers* everything is nice and good again!!!!!lalalalalala
i am so happy i can eat ALOTALOTALOT of COTTONCANDY
and if u are nice to me i'd even share with u~^^*gives nessa some~*


no.. i'm pissed...why are my moods so dependent on that ONE person..*grumbles*
something someone said..

and you know what?!
MID YEARS ARE OVER!!!!!!I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~
so i got home and immediately watched all the 6 inu vcds all at one go..
sheepo and inu and rin and sessh-y and miroku and kanna and shiori and sango and kirara are sooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!! hmmm.. even jaken is a tiny bit funny^^
I WANNA WATCH ALLLLLL!!!!!!
i shall try to learn rin's song about waiting for sesshomaru to return!~

go look under profile.. nice picz^^
I LIKE QUIZZES!~

really..
recently heard the song he sang with yan xing shu.. "dui shou"
then though his voice totally suck la.. but i realised i still miss him leh.. :(
i miss the "come on" and "wu xie ke ji" toro.. :(

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
today i woke up at 1pm....
it was raining and the wind was blowing into my room...so cold..
then i went to close the window and curtains...before falling back into bed and sleep again..
then ask i did that, my hand hit something hard..
handphone....
"1 new message"
"who could it be?" i thought wishing and wishing that its him but at the same time telling myself it's not him...so that i won't be disappointed if it's not him..(knn..i'm sucha freak)
then it IS him..
but then i really wish this sms isn't from him after i read what it said..
he's so cruel man..even if he may not know it ..
wah lao.. was really hurt lor..
can't get myself to argue about it..
don't want to ask him about it..
i'm afraid of what his answer would be..
i'm so NOT going to msg him anymore..for the time being until i do what nessa wants me to do in her song...
k..i know i damn drama la..
maybe i too oversensitive..
if i tell u what the sms say hor, you may think there's nothing to it..
but i dun care lo..
i'd use any reason no matter how stupid it is to FORGET

dun ask me what he said.. i'm not gonna answer you..and if u still ask, i'll just give you that LOOK i reserve for insensitive people..
i am so pissed i want to eat ice cream but i realised i am sick...CAN SICK PEOPLE EAT ICE CREAM?!?!?!??!?!?
and if u are a good friend, treat me eat ICECREAM!hahahaha(kk.. joking..)
breaking tomorrow? or stay at home?
i know thursday meet nessa and shir..
friday see sly..HE'S COMING TO MY SCHOOL!if can i wanna ask him why he is such a genius to write "shuo yi"..
to tell u the truth I DUN WANNA BREAK ANYMORE..*for the time being*
and I AM NEVER GONNA LET MYSELF LIKE A VIRGO GUY EVER!*with the acception of milk ye yi hua/nai wen*

OH DID U SEE THE SHOWBIZ WEBBIE?!?!?!?! www.showbiz.com.tw
oh my god..it is like the cutest site i ever saw!SHOWBIZ RULEZ!!!!TBC DROOLS!!!!!!hahahaha

dammit i think daniel zhang is so talented.. it is so not fair i haf NO talent...lao tian ye is so not fair...nessa has talent to write song(with tune!i cannot write song with tune! i on write tuneless lyrics which means stupid poens!!!!!)...lina has talent to design..yiwei is so smart and takes up music as well..shir is so cute...wangyu can act..chee hian can dance..jikbu is good with computers..blahblahblah.. i'm the one who suck at every thing la! and my drawing is like.. there are sooooooooooo many others that draw better la.. and i'm like so stupid when it comes to studies.. plus i have no interest it in anyway..dammit i'm such a failure..
fuck...
this world is so not fair...
SHUT UP!..
even steven lim has talent...
he have the talent to make a fool of himself..:P(not tt i want this lla..hahhaa)

plus everyone is happy EXCEPT me..
i bet one day i die le ppl won't even come to my funeral
and what would i get carved on my tombstone(if i am even lucky enough to have one?) ?
"GO TO HELL"
and maybe that's where i want to go...
torture me all they want and i won't feel a thing..
coz i have already lost the ability to feel...or i have already gotten used to being hurt it doesn't hurt anymore
maybe that's a blessing in disguise isn't it......
then i'm untouchable..nothing can hurt me anymore..

really...
but i dun care also.. just let things take it's course..
haha recently do alot of quizilla quizzes so many nice anime pics..

damn.. i don't care liaoz...
i'm not gonna let a guy affect my mood
i'm not gonna let him be the centre of my life..
from now on it's MEMEME!
i'm fed up already..
i ain't gonna wait around and guess when he isn't sure about things..
i mean.. i haven't been myself for so long le lo..
i didn't use to be so useless and weak..
i didn't use to cry because of a guy before(energy not counted la..coz they got special place in my heart)
nah..not angry at him...
just angry at myself for letting myself get into this state..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

hey.. first time friendster horoscope so accurate

You've never been known for your temper, but that doesn't mean you won't react -- big time -- when you're backed into a corner. Should someone decide to try your patience now, they'll see just how uncharacteristically angry you can become.

or lets say... leow yingjie has no life...all she does is sit with her computer and blog..
i haf like no life..
it's all exams fault..
maybe mine too...i'm too dao..
or else when i find something/one i like i'd just totally ignore everything else..
ain't really a good friend so i guess i couldn't complain...
just that i do miss some people..
ya..and i dun mean that person i am always missing..
u can say i'm childish or whateva.. i dun care.. but i do miss my bestfriend and i do want her back but yet i dun want her back anymore coz she's changed and i've changed..and i think i'm still angry coz she didn't talk to me in sec1-sec4 ...ok.. i'm partially at fault too coz i nv bother to contact her too.. see how childish i am..

been sick the whole week...coughing and sneezing and blowing nose...feeling sick really makes u grumpy..but i dun wanna go to the doctor coz must walk 5 mins..so far..so i sat at home coughing and my mom's like "YINGJIE ARH! GO SEE DOCTOR LA!"but i totally refuse..haha i dunno la.. guess i want to see if i can get well without seeing doctor..(the stupid things i do..)

i'm NOT gonna msg him first..hmph.. NO WAY..if he want he msg FIRST..if not the forget it..(hmm..seems like the old me is back)dun call me darling if u dun mean it!hmph *returns all your stupid *huGgie*s get lost unless u really mean them!*

i just love nessa..*adds* but i dun love her coz i dun love girls..(hahaha)
haha she's one of the most unique ppl i ever know.. her brain just works differently..

I HAF NOT SEEN A SINGLE FRIEND(other than sch ppl) FOR TWO WEEKS!
I MISS YIWEI!I MISS NESS!I MISS MEHMEH!!!i guess i even miss pak and clarence and orange!even though pak is a meanie..haha coz got used to breaking everyweek liaoz then suddenly nv break then miss all da ppl..
then there are those ppl that i nv see for veeeeeery veeeeeery long.. like brain,huiwen,eileen..lina,shir..oh man i hate school...
maybe it's coz all my closer friends are all in different schs...

this june hols!!!!
yay!!!!!!!!!
laugh all u like.. i dun care!~i'm soooooooo happy~hahahahaha

k..the following is nessa's blog post...
i'm gonna analyse and answer her in red
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not a good song writer esp when it's English but... I'll try...
For my DEAR YJ, I know you are feeling very lousy due to some reasons. Well, I am not going to make things any better because this song is somehow related to you. In the other words, YES, I CUSTOMIZED THIS SONG FOR YOU!!!(like i'm gonna be so grateful for this..erm.. actually i am.. isn't always tt someone writes a song about you..even if she's just out to make fun or u...*grumbles*)But the lyrics going to suck (kinda)though.. haha... here it goes.

Look, into my eyes
Tell me what do you see in me
What do you feel about me.

Please, hold my hand,
tell me why...
Do I feel so much pain inside

*Pre-chorus*
How did it all started,
how did it all end?
Are you the winner?
Am I loser?(I AM THE WINNER HOR!!!!!)

*chorus*
Hurt, what's what you gave me
nothing but more hurt
Am I just another fool to you
Strong, I have to be stronger
no matter what...
I'll try to forget you somehow....(YALA!I KNOW WHAT U WWAN ME TO DO LA!)

*bridge*
Don't look down on me,
as time will go by,
I will be wiser,(nessa's sayin tt i'm stupid)
I'll be the winner(she thinks i'm a loser too)
till that day,
you'll be no longer in my mind..........

I realised I could not go further because I got a feeling you are going to laugh at me saying "Nessa, you really sucks."(YEAH)So in order to stop myself getting more HURT(yeah..i'm gonna pound ya..i'm inuyasha u know..) from you, I've decided to stop writing. If this song really sucks and makes you laugh,(i'm laughing) well, AT LEAST I MADE YOU LAUGH! HA! SEE! I AM SUCH A "GOOD" FRIEND.Seriously, take note of the words in bold. You are smart, please don't act like a bimbo and tell me what I wish you could do.Or you can just listen to Wu Bai's song call 娴汉鎯呮瓕涓嶈鍐嶆兂浣狅紝涓嶈鍐嶇埍浣?br />璁╂椂闂存倓鎮勭殑椋為€濓紝鎶瑰幓鎴戜咯鐨勫洖蹇?br />瀵逛簬浣犵殑鍚嶅瓧锛屼粠浠婁笉浼氬啀鎻愯捣涓嶅啀璁╂偛浼わ紝灏嗘垜蹇冨崰鎹?br />璁╁畠闅忛鍘伙紝璁╁畠鏃犵棔杩?br />鎵€鏈夊揩涔愭偛浼ゆ墍鏈夎繃鍘婚€氶€氶兘鎶涘幓蹇冧腑鎯崇殑蹇电殑鐩肩殑鏈涚殑涓嶄細鍐嶆槸浣?br />涓嶆効鍐嶆壙鍙楋紝瑕佹妸浣犲繕璁?br />*鎴戜細鎿﹀幓鎴戜笉灏忓績婊翠笅鐨勬唱姘?br />杩樹細瑁呭仛涓€鍒囬兘鏃犳墍璋?br />灏嗕綘鍜屾垜鐨勭埍鎯呭叏閮ㄦ暡纰?br />鍐嶅皢瀹冮€氶€氳刀鍑烘垜鍙椾激鐨勫績鎵?br />涓嶆効鍐嶆壙鍙楋紝鎴戞妸浣犲繕璁?br />浣犱細鐪嬭鐨勶紝鎶婁綘蹇樿鎴戞兂鍒颁簡涓€涓繕璁版俯鏌旂殑浣犵殑鏂规硶锛?br />鎴戜笉瑕佸啀鎯充綘锛屼笉瑕佸啀鐖变綘涓嶄細鍐嶆彁璧凤紝鎴戠殑鐢熷懡涓紝涓嶆浘鏈変綘
(can't see those chinese words..they dun turn up in ur blog as well.. )
Anyway, thanks for being younger than me by 2 year. Suddenly, I feel so... childishyoung. =) (i dun understand this line)

Last but not least, *acts cute by doing this ^-^v* jIa y0u~!PS: NO! I am not a les! I'm just writing a song for you AS A FRIEND because I enjoy using my friend's misery to write songs.(*Bleep*) Evil eh? Hahahahahaha! Well, that's just so me. =)

conclusion..nessa should just stick to writing chinese songs...hahahahahahah^^but still..she's the only tt cares enough to make me laugh with her abit warped sense of humour...even if it means using my misery to write song...at least she can write.. i keep having writer's block.. *grumps* i'm so jealous damn...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
about ur grandma...i wish her well.. take care of her more and appretiate that she's still there now... talk to her more lo.. that's only thing u can do now..*ok..i'm such a hypocrite..i always grump at my grandma..when she nag and nag...BUT I'M LEARNING OK!!!!*

VANESSA LOH WAN JUAN!!!!!!
you are soooooooo dead...

really...

k..i'm laughing.. and NO i'm not gonna do want u want me to do.. at least not yet...
hahaha

yeah.. u really suck!hahahaha
it's like.. so ...drama la..hahahaha
NESSA THE DRAMA QUEEN..
haha kk..i ain't really in the position to call u tt coz i haven't been very not-drama recently as well.. tsk..hahaha
no wait.. both of us haven't been not-drama for the whole of our lives!i mean.. which idiots would sing some hokkien song about drinking(alcohol) while holding this coke bottle at the esplanade there....or just doing some taike dance..i think only us ba..:P

標　　題：牛祝全天下的母親 母親節快樂 發 表 人：狗狗(poloboy20003) 發表時間：2005/05/05 19:32:05 母親節要到到了現祝大家的媽媽 母親節快樂 我們最近都在錄音 很屌歐 很想趕快跟大家見面 大家最近都在考試 要加油歐 今年的暑假 我們又會一起渡過 到時 一定讓大家有不同的驚喜ㄟ 很抱歉比較少上來留言 希望大家能體諒我歐 下次再見 ㄟ 881 881 掰


dunno can see chinese or not..stupid blogger...
in case nothing comes out, it's niunai's msg to wish all mothers happy mothers' day!~isn't he sweeeeeeeeeeet? oh man i love him....
and he says they are busy recording...
and he wishes to see every one soon
and jia you coz every one is having exams...
and that they will spend this summer with everyone~
and then they will gif everyone a surprise...
and sorry for not leaving msgs often...

he is just sooooooooooooooo sweet! love him!!!!!!!!

u can say i'm naive and believe what he says but i dun care i love milk!!!!^^
event if THAT one is being mean now..

need i say more?
i miss youuuuuu.....
no.. i hate you..
really..

you know... one of the worst feelings in the world is when you want to cry so much..and yet you can't..
there's always something holding you back..
pride...
you don't want to show others how weak u can be
you're worried that they will laugh
love..
you don't want them to worry about you.. they haf enough to worry about
so u smile and pretend there's nothing wrong..as if u dun gif a damn at all
when actually you are crying.....breaking down inside....

or when the person you love hurt you without even knowing it..
you wish you could hate that person....but you can't coz that person didn't even know that he.she even did anything wrong...


why do we think so much before we do something we want to do?
they always say san si er xing..*bleep* IT..
factor 1:everyone cares so much about "mian zi" and "xing xiang" yeah..me included..
it's like so fake lo..
factor 2:we care too much about what others think about us..
factor 3:what we do may affect the people around us...our loved ones.."will it hurt them?" "what if they dun like.."
BUT NOW I REALLY DUN WANT TO CARE,DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ALL THESE THINGS..if only i can find someone i can cry to who won't ask me why i cry.. just be there..but there's NO such person in this world...friends will claim they would be there but in the end even the best of friends also won't last de..(*shut up i know what u are going to say DON'T SAY IT...yeah..YOU*)


then there's the time when you want so much to tell someone everything in ur heart..
but your words get stuck in ur throat..like got some fishbone stuck there...gu geng zai hou.. you know?so you just keep everythingin your heart coz you're scared... you know very well that you may regret if you don't say...there are so many stories about this ..you read in friendster bulletin or what ever..but yet you're still scared.. coz you're afraid that once you open ur big mouth and blurt everything out..that someone would be gone forever..

or when you so wanted so much to follow your dreams...but the people you love have other plans for you....they want to force it on you thinking that "it's the best for my little girl/boy" and that they are doing it out of love for you but actually they are hurting you..then it made you start to lose faith in your dreams coz you stop and think.. hey..i'm not too sure about what i want to do now..the people you love..or your dreams?then u think..*hey i'm spending their money(for study)* then u feel guilty if u did not do what they want you to do..so u went ahead and do what they want you to do.. and u are unhappy..and u keep thinking "what if..."

stupid analytical critical skills..everything we do.. we analysize and see what advantages or disadvantages it would bring us.. like life has become like a social studies paper..it's just so sick..

nessa's right.. all we ever do is study study study.. be cause that's what everyone does..that's what the people before us did..that's what the people in the future will be doing too.. much as i hate to study, there's still no way out....i can't drop out.. we are tied down by responsibilities..me, to my parents..they pay for my education, so i haf to study..then there's the future..must find job.......coz need $$.. it's the society that took all the "creativity that nessa talks about" from us..the idea that doctor,scientists,lawyers,teachers earn more $$ make every one studyX3..then those shit education policies..like.. out of sooooooooo many singaporeans, how many serious music-makers are there? even if they haf a job in the music industry,they always have another safety-net type of thing..like "should i fail, i could alwyas fall back on this ____(whatever job)" coz they haf no faith in their music..or they haf no faith that music can ever be as important in singapore then law,science,education or medicine..

i dunno what i haf typed..... it may make sense to you, or you may see it as crap..
i don't care.. i won't care.. i'm going to write as i please.. coz for once....even if it's for only this one time,i'm not going to think about what you may think of me..i'm not going to worry if i hurt anyone.. i'm going to do what i want to do..say what i want to say..coz tomorrow..no..maybe immediately after clicking on "publish post", i will go back to the "social studies mode" just like every one else..

SHUT UP!DIAM!AN JING!BI ZUI!
i'm damn fed up le lo!
also dunno fed up about what..just damn angry..is it at him? or at myself?
hate him for changing...hate him for being so busy..hate myself for hating him....it's not his fault... isn't it?i'm so selfish..yeah..he's right..i'm like princess like that(coz i got maid help me do house work)..but not those nice pretty ones in disney stories..i'm those spoiled selfish mean evil ugly type..(no he did not say this haha he is "not so evil"*quote from his sms*)

i miss so many ppl...
mehmeh,machi_sg,weewee,shanru,changzhen,energy,machi.....and that person..etc..nv see them for soooo long le lo..
when's the last time i went out?two weeks ago?wow..break record..

wo ai ni ai zhe ni
jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi~
hahah this cute+irritating song by guo meimei..some unknown singapore artiste..hahha

i am still pissed..

my mind's so saturated!!!!!!!!!!!!
no more chem info can go in anymore..... oh shit!!!!!! no..it's not saturated....i think it's blank...just totally blank!!! shit la!!!!! how...
like no use trying to study liaoz lo.. really nothing can go inside anymore..and i'm freaking out!

i think i dun wanna break for this year le...
like maybe once in a while practice handstand la..coz...I KNOW I AM FAILING...I AM FAILING EVERYTHING EVEN GEOG!!!!
THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO GET INTO MY HEAD IN SUCH A SHORT TIME!!!!
howhowhowhowhow!!!!!and there is still so many topics i am still not so sure about!
what a relief i'm not going to u.s. this june hols..coz if so i haf even less time to study..
haha my sis so disappointed coz she cannot go disney land..haha actually i also abit disappointed.. i wanna go there again..haha so can see the Little Mermaid stuff...(*laugh all u like i dun care!she's my idol!and all other mermaids too*)wow.. it's been...... i dunno how long since i went...i think i was younger then 9 ..

just came back from bathing..
i screamed.. coz the water is cold... AAARH!!!!!!!! the only thing i hate about this weather is tt it makes the water so cold even with the heater on.. sick.. i hate cold water......
haha just bored and haf ran out of things to grumble aboout so might as well grumble about the water...
i dunno le... should i go and study geog or lit?hmmm.....

*i am such a hypocrite......i am so FAKE..
i can't stand myself....i lie all the time without feeling guilty....
just pretend all the time.. aaarhhh...so irritating...*

had fever and a horrible sore throat on sunday night...
then yesterday haf runny nose... now still sick.. and just now had to walk in the rain tothe bus stop..then the bus aircon is soooo cold....:(
then when i reach my stop i still haf to walk home.. so miserable.. then it was still raining... and i was listening to radio.. and then they played nicky's song!!!! like so zhun lo! coz ying zhi at the front there haf this thunder sound then rain falling sound.. hahaha then i actually smiled! so stupid... was like walking and smiling to myself..(smile to nicky too)
amath was crappy will fail...
wasn't so confident for english chinese and ss too..
there's geog tomorrow and lit...
lit...i can only do unseen leh... i dun like text... geog... i hope there are questions on river or coastal erosion or volcanoes... or maybe i will choose human geog questions...
can't sleep nowadays...
like keep waking up after every few minutes...got veryveryvery dark circles around my eye:( and huge eye bags i think the only time i can sleep is on the bus= =

I DON'T KNOW WHO U ARE STUPID KEN U DUN COME MY BLOG THEN ASK PPL TO SHUDDUP...YOU ARE LIKE ...SO DAMN RUDE LA>>> LIKE I SAID, IT'S MY BLOG...MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE NOT YOURS SO GO CRAWL BACK INTO WHICHEVER *BLEEP* HELL HOLE THAT YOU CAME FROM...OR U CAME FROM A CESSPIT(thankz to wallace for this word)?if this is a joke, you've gone too far...if it's not, well just *BLEEP* off anyway...
*yj is such a good gal she dun use vulgarities anymore (i can hear it nessa... u just said "yeah right..*rolls eyes*"right?)*

NO MONEY FOR EG CONCERT YETTTT!!!HOW!!!!!???????I DUN WANT TO GO INDOOR STADIUM ON THAT DAY AND SIT OUTSIDE LISTEN FOR FREE..JUST COZ NO TIX...actually da haf $$ to buy tix la.. but can only buy the cheapest.. then can only sit so far away cannot even make out their faces lo... I DUN WANT CHEAPO SEATS!!!!CAN I GO WORK BACKSTAGE?!??!?!?!?!? I WANT TO GO BACK STAGE AND BRING TOWELS AND WATER FOR ENERGY!!!!hahahaha...

i regret.....
the tuesday i skipped cca...
i was just outside the computer lab
when i decided to skip it to meet yiwei at esply....
i should have stayed in school...
then i wouldn't be so upset now...

i regret....
going with yiwei to break with GMC....
then i wouldn't get to look into his eyes..
wouldn't see how much he looked like niu..
wouldn't get his no. from sk
wouldn't befriend him
wouldn't get hurt....

i regret
breaking.....
it brought more harm than good...
more pain then joy....
more tears then smiles..

i should just forget everything.....like go and wash my brain..wash away all the memories except geog,chem,physics,lit,ss,hcl,el,maths,a maths....i'd rather be a machine.....

*fang le shou**let go*

k...enough of those stuff..i noe u guys dun like to read about me grubling all those shit..esp nessa.. i dun like my grumbling shitty complains too...= =
ow......my back hurts.. think i hit it on the ground... i think since a few weeks ago..
then my elbow... i know why i feel like the bone hurts liaoz.. that day went to the doctor.. she said it's some "tennis elbow" or something.. got infection in the elbow or what crap la.. coz use wrists too much.. then my mom was like "see la! go break break break!then now like that!" imagine if sth wrong with my back what she will say.. haha dun even wanna imagine.. she'll lock me to my bed and dun let me get up arh!shhhhhh..... so dun tell on me k!

exams start on monday...
haiz......actually i ain't really scared... just take it lo..
usually i'm not scared of exams de lo.. is those stupid morons around me going all nervous and white and pale then i get abit affected by them.. or else u see... after exam everyone talking about the questions like "i dunno how to do Q3!!!!! 4 marks leh! how!!!!!????" those shit.. i just dun care lo.. it's like HELLO!!!!IT'S OVER..why should i care anymore..nothing can change that le lo... those idiots...= =there's like this nervouse freak i know... everything also get nervous.. siaoz one lo.. it just makes me to irritated..like SHUT UP la!!!!!..

:) like ying zhi?!(the song playing now) remember to buy nicky lee's album out in singapore mid-may!!!:D
haha i should get advertising fee from machi entertainment..

oh! my cousin joined JUE DUI SUPERSTAR.. the channel u idol thingy...
she joined for fun then got in lo.. hahaha!if she gets into this round(this coming sunday at imm), then she'll qualify for the tv rounds le.. hope she gets in!!!!! if u r around tt area on 8may, please go support:) her name's joey....sorry i couldn't go coz of exams.... really hope she will qualify so that i can make banners and stufffor her after my exams:) to thank her for the times she brought me to see machi and make me abit more recognised by machi(coz of her connections)..hahaha!
DA JIE!!!!!!! JIA YOU!!!!!!!!

living in the shadow of the past...
i looked back..it wasn't like this..
i had thought our friendship would last..
but i'm all alone now.....
i miss you so much.........


i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you

i'm the stupid one..
sorry.......

i'm gonna squeeeeeeze in nessa's happy birthday song here..
sorry i'm such a horrible friend....

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to nessa
happy birthday to you

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER!!!!phew... after two days of waiting, i can hear "ying zi" again!!!!!it's so nice lo!!!!!!!!!
but i still think it's not fair! they play other songs so many times and nicky's song so few times.. later go complain to da ge..... tsk......
EVERYONE! MUST BUY NICKY'S ALBUM!!!!!! IT'S GONNA BE REAL GOOD K! MUST SUPPORT!!!!!!

i waited 2 days and i haven't heard nicky's song... so pissed lo!2 days nv hear le lo! stupid 933! so biased.. they dun like my nicky..............THEY BULLY NICKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TA MA DE! they keep replaying all the new songs except nicky's......NOT FAIR LO!!!!!! later i go media corp kao peh ARH!......= =

"Breathe Easy"
Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine
Why did I lie?What did I walk away to find
Oooohhh...why...
oooh -- why...
[CHORUS]
I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I... can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air
Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside
I won't forget, no i won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one i was looking to find
Ooh -- why...
ooooh, why -- why...
[CHORUS]
Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for
Ooooooohhhhh -- tell me why
Oh won't you tell me why
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air
I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
Coz i can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air
There's no air.

haha heard this song by blue.....from....you won't believe it....body combat= =
haha they use this music for cool down exercises..
haha realised i very long nv listen to blue le.. they're really good la.. haha used to like simon alot..hahaha..used to like those black guys.. then my ah ma was so worried = =
but now i like asians la..hahahha~

:) radio is not stupid!!!!!!~
they play energy's duo ai wo yi tian live version sang at jin qu jiang:)
suddenly feel so HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
i close my eyes.. and i can see...i can relive the times i heard energy live..the times i see them right infront of me!~~~
energy coming in JUUUUUUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~:)
YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!~

so irritating..always cannot see ALL the buttons..

:)
whatever.. feeling abit better today~
actually it doesn't take much to make me happy~ just give me cotton candy!!!:)
really like this soft candy..usually i don't like very sweet stuff..but i REALLY LOVE COTTON CANDY!next time i want to buy a cotton candy machine.. and if i haf kids i will let them eat lots of cotton candy too!~^^ hahaha
ok.. i need cotton candy..and someone..:(

i like purple and pink cotton candy!!!!!!~and blue and green~~~yellow one isn't nice..
today i had pink and green one.. dad went to a pasir malam some where near by.. then i was like "DADDY! I WANT COTTON CANDY!!" haha then i thought he wouldn't buy.. but he did~:)
THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!
YUMMY!!!!!

stupid radio just refused to play my nicky lee jiu zhe's "ying zi" STUPID!! I WANT TO LISTEN LA!!!!!!then will have another thing can make me happy!~
studying rivers...
attrition,solution,abrasion,hydraulic action
solution,traction,saltation,suspension~
feel like puking yet i like geog..~hahaa

cried when i woke up.. cried when i heard 933 yin jue ri ji.. cried when i was doing maths TYS..cried when i heard "wo ting jian tian shi ge chang"...
dun ask me why.. (not that anyone cares) just very fan..
why i cry.. i rather scream..
just a weak cry baby..
I WANT NICKY'S CD NOW!!!!!!! NOWNOWNOW~so i can listen and haf his nice voice accompany me...*miss nicky's hug*

changed the layout.. i realised i cannot look at milk's face without becoming sad..
haiz..
why am i so sad? coz it's the day of the month again!
ok.. i am not really such a siaoz inu fan.. fun this is like soooooo cute lor.. when i saw my sis putting it in her blog, i also copy..hahaha~

haiz.. i want to let go but i dun want to....aaaaarhh....why am i so stupid.. he dun even care le lo..i mean i am the one always messaging first one.. then i think.. what if one day i totally dun msg him le... will he msg me first?? or will i just fade away...
i miss his voice..................
i miss seeing him................

AAAAAARRGHHHHH!!!!!

haiz.. go study la.. dun think le...

haha i heard nicky's song today!
but i didn't know it was him...then at first i was like thinking.. "hmmm.. this person's voice is so nice!!!!!eh...but why the chinese so strange arh?" haha really sounded like an angmoh trying to sing chinese..
^^NICKY JIA YOUUUUUUU!!!!
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